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My Adventures in Mexico City at the WOBI Conference

Poster Art by Twitter fan @CFMEDIUM

When I had accepted to speak at the WOBI conference in Mexico City, I had no idea how hectic my life would be that week. I was gearing up for the WOMEN ARE Summit that my partner, Beth and I, have been organizing for the past year, I was due to speak in New York at another women’s conference a few days later, and to add more excitement to my life, my husband and I had accepted to host a speaker from Stanford the night before.

But truth be told, that week was one of the highlights of my work. It isn’t easy to be in constant movement, and I for one, cherish the times that I have a set schedule of uninterrupted writing.   But, what I have realized is that what I love even more than the process of writing is connecting with people.

Needless to say, at the WOBI conference I got the opportunity to connect with 2,500 top leaders and executives from Latin America. The thought of walking into a big expo center and seeing rows and rows of seats and stage twice the size of anything I have ever seen made me chuckle. How did a girl from Iran ever end up coming to the conference and have the opportunity to do interviews with Forbes, Televisa, and Martha Debayle, and do a Vogue photo shoot for their “Power Women” feature?

Besides, at the conference I had the opportunity to listen to other truly exceptional speakers such as: RED BULL’s Stratos pilot, Felix Baumgarter (who jumped from the Stratosphere in free fall, breaking the sound barrier as well as many other records), Xavier Sala-I-Martin (the Spanish economist who is a leader in the field of economic growth), Magnus Scheving (the Icelandic writer, producer, entrepreneur, and athlete who is also the creator and co-star of the children’s television show LazyTown), and Lorenzo Servitje, the founder of Bimbo Corporation (the largest Mexican owned baking company, with brands in America, Asia, and Europe).

Each of these experiences were incredibly gratifying and exciting at the same time. The saying is true: when your work is your passion, it can really be the most fun of all and my time working in Mexico was a perfect example. What I truly sensed was the warmth and hospitality of the people I met—the wholehearted way they reached out to me.

Angella Nazarian with CNN Host

 

In the few hours I had free, I was able to visit the Tomaya Museum and Carlos Sims art collection.  The only thing that was on my mind as I was leaving for the airport was, I need to come back to Mexico—and very soon.  I guess Latin blood really runs through my veins.

What I Have Learned From My Sons

I often say that my biggest teachers have been my kids. It is a strange feeling to be walking down the street with both of them towering over me, and poking fun of all the strange things I do. But believe me, life with them keeps getting more and more interesting with each year.My older son, Phillip, went to study abroad for a semester and gave us a boost of energy and inspiration with his notes from abroad. The new living arrangements, the new culture and language were a shock to the system—but Phillip loved the feeling of exploring and experiencing a new environment. They say that parents shouldn’t live through their kids, but in this instance I can tell you that Phillip’s sense of adventure and his natural inquisitiveness fulfilled a part of me as well. I guess this past few months have only shown how new experiences unleash a part of ourselves that we may have never known existed.

This past year was a big year for my younger son as well. Eli is a senior and has been looking at various colleges around the country. Last summer he surprised us all when he came back from a four-week business leadership class and announced, “This is it! I want to apply to the best business schools in the country!” There is no other word to describe him, but to say that he has a lot of “chutzpah”. You see, if he were playing the odds game—he could have played it safe and applied to a highly selective liberal arts college—the ones that he had all along thought of applying to before his summer experience. But, he told us that he was ready to be rejected, but what he needed to do was be in a business program that he loved. Needless to say that for the following months he was laser focused on getting interviews at his top school of his choice and making sure he had the best application possible.

The last few days leading up to getting the admission news were truly nerve wracking for him. My husband and I noticed how invested he was in his decision and wondering what may happen? Good news is that he was accepted to his school of choice!

But why am I choosing to talk about this story? I was noticing how naturally Eli followed his instincts, his passion and how he was willing to put himself on the line and risk rejection to get what he wanted. His decision paid off, but I have a feeling he would have coped with a rejection and would have applied to other business schools of his choice. I have been thinking about his actions quite a lot. Here he was as an enthusiastic 17 year old, grabbing life with his two hands and believing that his new found passion is worth his time and worth risking hurting his ego.
He reflected something for the whole family to see—that we can be more open with our choices, and put the necessary time and dedication to bring a dream to fruition.

This coming year, I hope to keep this lesson alive in my heart! I hope that you too draw inspiration from those around you, and in turn, use it to lead an inspired life!
Happy Holidays.

Women’s Legacy as Leaders

I hate to be late at events—and I become mortified to think I might be even 5 minutes late to an event where I am one of the keynote speakers. While I was braving the 10 East traffic this Thursday at 7:30 in the morning, I kept worrying if I would make it to the Pasadena Convention Center on time. Never mind that my navigation system was malfunctioning and I was trying to figure out where I need to go on my iPhone while listening to Oprah’s satellite radio program of “who is an energy sucker in your life.” Quite honestly, the question is not “who” but “what”. Traffic nowadays is the biggest drain of my energy.

But, once I parked my car and ran into the ballroom of the convention center and checked in for “Women’s Legacy Leadership Conference,” I felt a rush of positive energy go through me.

Once guided though the large doors of the banquet hall, it was clear that this was going to be a wonderful event. The room was full of beautiful round tables laid with promotional materials including, a packet and little pink rubber hard-hats symbolizing hardworking women. Before the event I was told there would be about 600 women at the event, and once I walked, it was clear that they had all arrived. There was a large stage at the front flanked by two digital movie screens with the event branding perfectly in place.

Phyllis Currie and Gail Farber are two super star women serving the county of Los Angeles in high leadership roles. They started off the day sharing their impressions on their personal journeys. Shortly after I arrived, it was my turn to present – and I focused on some of the key leadership lessons learned from the women featured in Pioneers of the Possible. It is an uncanny feeling when you feel so connected to hundreds of women in the room. Under the dimmed lights, the atmosphere felt intimate and I felt my message about the book resonated with them.

Usually when I make my way back to my seat, I check in with my assistant, who joins me at these events, to see if I did all right.  You see, I don’t think this question comes from a place of insecurity. Truthfully, it comes from a place of utter curiosity, because when I am at the podium, I feel like I am in a cocoon with the audience. I have no sense of time or much else. All I try to do is speak with passion about the subjects that I am passionate about.

Well, nothing could have prepared me for the wonderful and heartfelt response I got at the intermission. Once I got to the book-signing table, I noticed a line forming that went down the hall. If I may say so, I was so pleased that my books sold out in a matter of 20 minutes! But, the highlight was chatting with these amazing women who shared their experiences with me. One told me about her upcoming promotion, another about her 3 beautiful daughters that she has raised on her own, and yet another one told me about how arranged a stand-in to save her friend’s home during foreclosure. Now how could I have met any of these women if I hadn’t participated in this conference?

Of course, I got a chance to meet up with an old friend, best-selling author Hope Adelman, and had the opportunity to hear Christine Schwab speak for the first time.

Both are remarkable women who are passionate about seeing women succeed.

The message for the whole day for me was that our journey has much meaning. I always tell the audience that we all have a story. We define our story as much our story defines us. In order to reach higher and assume a leadership position in our own lives, we need to be committed to a path of growth. I felt privileged to have heard the many touching stories of resilience, success, hope, and courage at this conference.  If these are traits that we as women can harness, then we too can be pioneers in our own lives!

Enlightened

Before heading to the Grand Hall for my speaking engagement at Rice University, I had to make one stop! I simply could not visit the majestic Rice campus and not stand underneath James Turrell’s “Twilight Epiphany” Skyspace.  James Turell medium of art is light, and he has always said, “light itself is a form of revelation and a source of contemplation”. Of course as I watched the light show in the skyspace pavilion, I was filled with a sense of expansiveness that was indescribable.

James Turrell’s “Twilight Epiphany”

As lifelong learners, we also hope to experience those “light filled” moments where we gain new insight on life and people. One of the ways in which we all can play a part in transformation is by sharing what inspires us. Given my natural curiosity and my training in psychology I have always been fascinated by visionaries, who have been at the forefront of change, who have led the way to a broader way of perceiving the world.

This fascination led me to write “Pioneers of the Possible: Celebrating Visionary Women of the World”. In the book, I offer a personal and psychological narrative of the most trailblazing women around the world.  My quest to connect and have meaningful conversations about this topic has led to a yearlong book tour, which is why I was invited to come and speak at Rice University.

It is one thing to go to an institution and talk about what I am passionate about, but it is another thing to see that an institution can so thoughtfully integrate a talk and link it to their students’ passion.  For my speaking engagement, The Center For the Study of Women, Gender, and Sexuality brought together 20 non-profit organizations (AssistHers, YWCA, Girls Inc., The Women’s Home to name a few) to its Grand Hall so that students could sign up to volunteer for these organizations following my talk.

If there are two messages that I can impart about my book, it would be that effective leaders 1) build a life around their strengths and 2) visionaries commit themselves to a purpose that is larger than themselves.  The idea of service is pivotal in one’s growth and transformation, and how appropriate it was for an educational institution to facilitate growth in such a thoughtful and meaningful way.

Perhaps the Turell piece that I so wanted to visit is just another symbol for what the campus does already.

“It’s Our Turn” Brentwood School hosts it’s first ever Young Women’s Conference featuring Maria Shriver, Mary J Blige, and surprise guest Lady GAGA.

Eight hundred and fifty young women from 150 schools in the Los Angeles area had gathered in the Gym of Brentwood School for its first ever, Young Women’s Conference, called “It’s Our Turn.”

It was a proud moment for all of us women and especially Brentwood parents to see such a thoughtful and inspirational day unfold before us.  Maria Shriver was the honorary chair for the event and the executive committee—the ones who put on the conference—was made of 10 brilliant Brentwood School Girls that had a passion for growth and for tackling some modern-day issues facing girls today.

It goes without saying the discussion panels and the speakers were beyond belief! Yes, just imagine that the fierce and talented Mary J Blige spoke onstage about her journey, her relationships, and her own experiences with work and rejection.  She was so gracious, candid, and open-hearted that you couldn’t help but admire this woman for what she has done.

I had the great privilege of being a presenter as well and I when I was in the green room, I ran into her and told her how real and remarkable she was.  She smiled at me and said, “Thank you, it means a lot to me.” She wasn’t acting like a larger than life personality, but rather a humble and authentic woman.

A whole host of accomplished women took the stage talking about balancing work and family, about giving back to the community, self-defense and creating boundaries, self-esteem, and bullying.

The big surprise came at the final hour of the event. The surprise guest speaker was blonde donning Chanel sunglasses, a bright red lipstick, a biker leather jacket with studs all over. Any clues? A red silk blouse was tied around her waste that served as a make shift mini skirt and heals that must have been 10 inches high. She came on the stage and the entire gym went wild—there she was—Lady Gaga!

In a world where everything dwindles down to images and sound bites, Lady Gaga sat and talked about her difficulties she faced in being excluded in high school, her own insecurities, and some of the obstacles that have come across her path.  Well over a hundred girls stood in line to ask her questions, and I was amazed to see the level of connection and truthfulness she shared with the audience.

As everyone headed out of the conference, all I could hear were the girls chatting among themselves about the incredible day they had all shared. I was thinking to myself how wonderful it would have been for my generation to have had this kind of opportunity to talk about such issues when we were in the midst of our tumultuous, hormonal ride through high school.  Indeed “It is Our Turn” was the most appropriate name for the conference for these girls.

The ‘Woman in the Mirror’

It’s been six years that I’ve been conducting women’s workshops. And it was just recently that I sent out this intention into the universe “I want to talk about inspirational topics with women from all different walks of life.”

What fuels my life is being around likeminded women who support me in figuring out who I am. So it was only a couple of months ago when I had gone to visit my publisher in New York that I stole two hours for myself to venture out and see great art.

And Voila! This is what you get: Woman in the Mirror, by Picasso.

There is so much to say about this image that captivated me.

How many times have we are the culprits that limit our own growth? When I first wanted to write a book, all of these negative and fearful thoughts came to my mind —Why would anybody be interested in what I have to say? How dare I change my work from being a psychology professor to becoming a writer! It’s too late. How can I manage the workload with my family’s needs? I’m too old. Am I going through a midlife crisis?—You can just imagine the laundry list of all the reasons I came up with.

I’m sure all of us have gone through this at some point of our lives or another. And magically, when I was doing research for my second book Anais Nin’s quote hit home:

“We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are” — Anais Nin.

As we go through life’s journey, we stumble upon ourselves over and over again —our deepest desires, the important relationships in our lives, our career choices, strengths and limitations, force us to reexamine who we are and where we are heading.

Our life is seldom a straight path, but rather a series of unfolding takings and turnings. Do we check in with ourselves to see if we are headed in the right direction?

In the hopes of creating meaningful dialogue for us women who are embracing the journey, I will be posting thoughts, discoveries and topics that may interest you. But most importantly, I would like to create a forum where we inspire one another to experiencing greater and deeper lives. Just remember, re-visioning ourselves does not require us to tear down all that we have worked for, but to refocus our energies on what invigorates us most.

Here is a great quote to think about “A little change is all it takes to make a big difference,” —Editor at O, Magazine.

The Path of Devotion

This week I have been doing a lot of research and reading for my next project–chronicling visionary women of the 20th century.  It feels like I am giving a gift to myself– to read and learn about the lives of so many people who had a drive and motivation to bring about change in the world, which in turn has affected and inspired the lives of others.

Sometimes we think that changing the world has to translate into social action, but that would make for a very narrow definition of a cultural shift.  Just think about those scientists, authors, philosophers, athletes, and artists who broke boundaries in their fields. They too held true to their passion and managed to bring about a different perspective and vision to the world.  What becomes clear is that whatever these women set out to do, it first started with a very personal desire to fulfill an inner need. They dedicated their lives to its unique expression.  And their approach to their craft was much like their approach to life — it was filled with a spirit of adventure, passion, and an inner devotion to more a over-arching value.

Last week I was researching some of Martha Graham’s clips and interviews. For those of you who are not so familiar with her work, here is a concise bio:

She was an American dancer choreographer regarded as one of the foremost pioneers of modern dance, whose influence on dance can be compared to the influence Stravinsky had on music, Picasso had on the visual arts, or Frank Lloyd Wright had on architecture.

She was the first dancer ever to perform at The White House, the first dancer ever to travel abroad as a cultural ambassador, and the first dancer ever to receive the highest civilian award of the USA: the Medal of Freedom.

Obviously, she is an extraordinary woman.  But what is most amazing to me is that her approach to dance is really a spiritual philosophy of life.  Here are some of the quotes that I found so profound:

You are in competition with one person only, that is the individual you know you can become.”

“The dancer’s life is a creative life–handling the material of the self so that you are able to hold the stage in full maturity and power. You dance with clarity, the deep matters of heart.”

 

We learn by practice. Whether it means to learn to dance by practicing dancing, or to learn to live by practicing living, the principles are the same. One becomes in some area an athlete of God.”

It is obvious that the axioms for fulfillment and success are the same no matter what you undertake.  These women were able to translate these philosophies into the very heart of their lives.  No matter where we are in our journey, there is someone whose life, when contemplated on, allows us to find a richer, deeper meaning in ours than we would otherwise.  This week it has been Martha Graham’s for me!